Raavan- Enemy of Aryavarta Page 15

  Vedavati rested her head on Prithvi’s shoulder. Raavan looked away, focusing on some birds on the treetops close by.

  ‘And you have returned just in time,’ said Kumbhakarna.

  ‘Yes!’ said Prithvi proudly. ‘Just a few more weeks now before our child enters the world.’

  Kumbhakarna nodded in agreement. ‘By the way, I was thinking that some more tools might help advance the work on the check dam. If you have some time, I could show you what I mean.’

  Prithvi looked at Vedavati.

  ‘I’d much rather rest, Prithvi,’ said Vedavati. ‘My back is killing me.’

  Prithvi smiled and caressed Vedavati’s face gently. ‘I’ll be back soon.’

  After Prithvi had left with Kumbhakarna, Raavan relaxed a little. ‘How bad is it? Should I send for some medicines from Vaidyanath?’

  Vedavati shook her head. ‘No, I don’t think that’s necessary. We’ll be leaving for Vaidyanath in a week in any case.’

  Raavan nodded, trying not to let his feelings show.

  ‘He is a good man, you know,’ said Vedavati.

  Raavan looked at her, startled. ‘Of course he is. I would never think otherwise.’

  ‘And I love him. He is my husband.’

  ‘I… of course… I mean…’

  Vedavati held Raavan’s gaze steadily. She was making sure her message carried without hurting his feelings.

  ‘So where did we first meet?’ she asked suddenly.

  Raavan was taken aback. He wasn’t sure what she meant.

  ‘I asked Vijay one day, why it is that you both look at me like you know me from before. From my days as a Kanyakumari, perhaps. For some reason I can’t be sure of, you seem familiar to me as well. Not Vijay, to be honest. I would certainly have remembered him.’ Vedavati was too polite to state the obvious—Kumbhakarna’s Naga features made it difficult for anyone to forget him. ‘So, I am certain you and I have met before. But where did we meet?’

  The lie came smoothly to Raavan’s tongue. ‘It could be when I came to Vaidyanath many years ago. I visited the Kanyakumari temple and you blessed me. It was so long ago, though. We were both children. It’s amazing that you find anything even remotely familiar about me.’

  Vedavati stared into Raavan’s eyes. For a moment, he thought she was going to tell him that she knew he was lying. But she merely nodded.

  ‘So you are a devotee of Lord Rudra?’ Vedavati asked.

  Raavan smiled and touched his ekmukhi rudraaksh pendant. ‘Yes, I am. Jai Shri Rudra!’

  ‘Jai Shri Rudra,’ repeated Vedavati, smiling and clasping her own rudraaksh pendant. ‘So, let me ask you: Are you a devotee of His actions or what He represents as the Mahadev?’

  Raavan frowned. ‘Is there a difference?’

  ‘Of course there is.’

  ‘How so? A person is defined by what he or she does. By his vocation or career. Karma defines the individual. A person without karma may as well be dead.’

  Vedavati smiled. ‘I didn’t say that karma is not important. But it’s not the only thing that’s important. There are other things too.’

  ‘And what are those other things?’

  ‘Swatatva, in old Sanskrit. Literally, the essence of your Self. Or more simply, your Being.’

  ‘Being?’

  ‘Being is a complex word, and not easy to understand. Like dharma.’

  ‘I understand dharma.’

  ‘Do you?’ Vedavati smiled.

  ‘All right. I admit dharma is a complex concept. We could debate its nuances for many lifetimes. But surely, Being is not so complex.’

  ‘It is. But to understand Being, you first need to understand karma. Your actions are your karma. It is what you do. Tell me, why do you perform any action that concerns others? Because you expect a reaction—hopefully, a reaction that will make you happy.’

  ‘So, are you saying that karma is transactional and hence, selfish?’

  Does she know that I donated things to this pathetic village only to be close to her?

  Vedavati shook her head. ‘Don’t get into what is good or bad. It is what it is. That’s all. Karma is most certainly transactional.’

  ‘And Being isn’t?’

  ‘No, it isn’t. That’s what makes it so important. And powerful.’

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘I’m sure you’ve been told that the only way for the mind to find peace is by learning to be calm and centred.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Raavan, rolling his eyes.

  ‘Why did you roll your eyes?’

  ‘I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.’

  Vedavati laughed. ‘I didn’t say it was wrong. I just asked why you did it.’

  Raavan laughed softly. ‘Because it’s very easy to counsel people that they should be calm and centred. But no one tells you how to do it!’

  ‘Exactly. That is the problem. People keep thinking that they have to do something to achieve that state. Be successful in their profession, perhaps, or go on a holiday, or make the right friends, or find a different spouse…. But even after they make that change, they find they are not calm. So then they think they have to do something more. Something different. It’s a never-ending cycle. Basically, calmness and centeredness are always elusive because people assume they have to do something, gain good karma, to get there.’

  ‘So, the problem is with our focus on karma?’

  ‘Yes. It’s very difficult to be calm and centred if your entire focus is on that. For karma is action in the hope of something in return. Like, if you give charity to someone, you expect at least respect in return. It’s a transaction. And if the result of your actions is not what you expected, you feel let down and become unhappy. Even worse, if the karma you get in return for your actions is, in fact, what you expected, you discover that the happiness you derive from it is fleeting. If dissatisfaction is guaranteed, how can you find peace of mind?’

  ‘How?’

  ‘Simply by Being what you are meant to Be. By staying true to your Swatatva.’

  Raavan leaned back. The beauty of the logic filled his mind.

  Vedavati continued, ‘I am not saying we shouldn’t focus on action. Without our karma, we may as well be dead. But karma should not be the centre of our lives. If we truly discover our Being, our Swatatva, and live in consonance with what we are meant to be, then everything becomes easy. We don’t have to try hard to carry out our karma. Because we will not do anything in the vain hope of something else. We will do it simply because it is in consonance with our Being. With what we were born to Be.’

  Raavan had never felt as centred or calm as in these last few weeks with Vedavati. She had answers for him. Answers to questions that he didn’t even know he had. ‘And what do you think I am born to Be, great Kanyakumari? What is my Swatatva supposed to be?’

  ‘A hero.’

  Raavan burst out laughing. Vedavati remained silent, confident in the truth of her assertion.

  Raavan controlled his mirth and said, ‘I apologise, Kanyakumari. I am not a hero. You certainly are. But not me. I am as close as anyone can be to a…’ Raavan stopped before the word ‘villain’ could escape his mouth.

  Vedavati leaned forward. ‘Your Swatatva is demanding it of you. You want to be a hero. You want to be an arya. You want to be noble. That’s why, whatever your reasons for leaving the Sapt Sindhu, you came back here. I have been told that you live in Lanka. That’s where all the rich people in the Sapt Sindhu are escaping to. But you keep coming back here. Why? Because you want the acceptance and respect of the aryas here. You will never have peace of mind till you accept who you are.’

  Raavan remained silent. His eyes glazed over. He was a small child again. Desperately seeking the approval of Vedavati. Of the Kanyakumari. His heart picked up pace. He could smell her fragrance again. The scent from all those years ago. He could hear her commands, her young voice, in his mind.

  You are better than this. At least try.

  No, I am no
t.

  Yes, you are. This is who you want to be.

  I just want to hurt my father. I hate him.

  Do you want to defeat him?

  Yes.

  Defeat your father, by all means. But don’t do it by hurting him. Do it by being better than him.

  ‘Jai?’

  Vedavati’s voice pulled Raavan out of his internal, tumultuous world. ‘Sorry… what?’

  ‘I am not suggesting that you desire the respect of the nobility in the Sapt Sindhu. There is nothing “arya” about them, no real nobility. But I can see you want the respect of the true aryas. Those who still remember our old ways. Those who are genuinely noble. Who may not be powerful today, but are dharmic. You want their acceptance. Jai, all you have to do is to accept who you are. And you will find peace.’

  She looked at him intently. ‘At least try.’

  ‘That didn’t go as planned,’ said Kumbhakarna.

  He had just come back from Todee. Raavan had sent him to offer a job to Prithvi and had been waiting for him eagerly at the guesthouse. But the news was disappointing.

  ‘Did you tell them everything?’ asked Raavan. ‘Including the bit about the money?’

  ‘Yes I did, Dada. I know how important this is for you.’

  ‘All that idiot will have to do is to be my personal secretary,’ said Raavan. ‘Write letters. I am sure even he can manage that. I am willing to pay him two thousand gold coins every year for it! Why did he say no?’

  ‘Perhaps the offer was too kind for Vedavatiji.’

  ‘The Kanyakumari? Why did she get involved in this?’

  ‘Well, Prithviji was very enthusiastic about the offer. He said they could leave for Lanka a few months after the birth of their baby. Then he went to ask Vedavatiji about it. And she said no.’

  ‘But why? I thought she wants me to…’

  ‘Wants you to what?’

  ‘Nothing. Why did she refuse?’

  ‘She wouldn’t say.’

  ‘But did you ask her?’

  ‘I did, Dada.’

  Raavan looked away. Staring out of the window.

  ‘And then she said the strangest thing.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘She told me to tell you that it took her some time, but she finally remembered.’

  ‘Remembered what?’

  ‘About the hare and the ants.’

  Raavan turned to look at Kumbhakarna, stunned. He had been recognised. How much did she know? Did she know about the robbery too? She would hate him if she did. ‘Did she say anything about Chilika? About Krakachabahu?’

  ‘No. Why would she? I don’t think she connects that with us.’

  Raavan remained silent.

  ‘But, Dada, what did she mean by the hare and the ants?’

  Raavan did not respond.

  Chapter 15

  ‘I thought you wanted to encourage me to do good,’ said Raavan.

  Raavan had come to Todee by himself to meet Vedavati. He knew he could not prolong his stay much longer and would have to leave for Lanka soon. He had been away too long. But how could he leave without her? Raavan was desperate—he had to convince her, somehow.

  ‘I can’t travel,’ said Vedavati.

  ‘After your baby is born? Perhaps you can come then.’

  Vedavati remained silent.

  ‘Please… I am begging you.’

  ‘You know you don’t need me.’

  ‘I do! Please… Nothing needs to change. You can remain married to him. To… Prithvi. I will not make any demands on you. I just need you to be in Lanka. Just be there… just let me look at you every day. That’s all I ask for. Please… please… Veda… Ve… Please, great Kanyakumari.’

  ‘You don’t need me,’ Vedavati repeated calmly.

  There were tears in Raavan’s eyes. ‘I do… I know what I need.’

  ‘No. You don’t know what you need. For then you would know that you already have it.’

  ‘But I don’t!’ Raavan couldn’t conceal his agitation. ‘I need you! I need you!’

  ‘You don’t need me. You need yourself.’

  ‘What does that mean? I don’t…’

  ‘Think about it. What have I been to you so far? Only an image in your mind. It’s you who wanted to be a better version of yourself. All you needed was an excuse. An excuse to motivate you, help you improve what you had become as a reaction to what your father did to you. You hung on to me as that excuse. What I am trying to tell you is that you don’t need the excuse anymore. In fact, you should never need someone else to better yourself. That is dangerous. I could die tomorrow. Then what will you…’

  Raavan clenched his fists. ‘I will destroy anyone who hurts you. I will rip their—’

  ‘Why do you assume someone will hurt me? I could die of an illness. There will be nobody to blame then, right?’

  Raavan fell silent.

  ‘When you start on the most important journey of your life, you cannot be dependent on anyone else. For you would be binding your purpose, your swadharma, to the fate of another person. That is dangerous. Especially for someone as important as you are.’

  ‘I am not…’ Raavan stopped himself from cursing. ‘I am not important. I am not even a good person. You don’t know the kinds of things I’ve done.’

  ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve been taking care of your mother and your younger brother since you were a child. You have built a trading empire almost single-handedly. You have strength, you have courage, and you are a capable man.’

  ‘I… I have done some terrible things to build my empire. I am…’ Raavan was struggling to be completely honest for the first time in his life. ‘I am a monster. I know I am a monster. I enjoy being a monster. I need you to save me. You are my chance. My only chance, if I am to make something… something noble of myself.’

  ‘That’s where you are wrong. I am not your chance. You are your own chance. You think you are a monster? Which great man does not have a monster inside him?’

  Raavan stared at Vedavati. Silent.

  ‘What you term a monster is the fire every successful man has within him,’ continued Vedavati. ‘A fire that will not let him rest. A fire that drives him to work hard. To be smart. To be relentless. Focused. Disciplined. For those are the ingredients of success. That fire is like a monster that will not allow you to lead an ordinary life. But there is one thing that differentiates a successful man from a great man. One key thing: Does the monster control you or do you control the monster? Without the monster, you would have been ordinary. With the monster, you have a chance to attain greatness. Not a guarantee, but a chance. To seize that chance, you need to control the monster and use your unique and enormous abilities, in the cause of dharma.’

  ‘I can’t do it without you.’

  ‘Me? I’m nobody.’

  ‘You are the Kanyakumari! You are a living Goddess! You are noble in a way I could never be. You are kind and generous. You are the purest person I have ever met. I am an impure, selfish bastard.’

  Vedavati looked at him steadily without saying anything.

  Raavan immediately turned contrite. ‘I didn’t mean to curse. I’m sorry.’

  ‘There is no need to use an expletive to emphasise a point.’

  ‘I’m sorry.’

  Vedavati smiled. ‘So, you think I’m pure? Have you noticed that there are no fish to be found in water that is too pure?’

  Raavan was quiet. It took him a few moments to realise that Vedavati was right.

  ‘I may be pure, but have I made any real difference in the lives of people? I may be noble in my actions, but I am not capable of commanding the attention of those outside my village. Only those who can reach millions of people can improve the lives of millions of people. Nobility without capability is limiting, it only results in good theory.’

  ‘But…’

  ‘Listen to me, Raavan. Truly great people, who have left a positive stamp on history and in the hearts of millions of foll
owers, combined a cold, ruthless mind with a warm, dharmic heart.’

  ‘I don’t have it. I don’t have a heart. I don’t…’

  Vedavati leaned forward and took Raavan’s hand in hers. It was the first time she had touched him. His heartbeat seized for a moment.

  ‘You do have a warm heart, Raavan. Don’t use it just to pump blood through your body. Let it also propel dharma through your soul. Rise to do good. Do good for this land of ours, which is suffering in poverty, chaos and disease. Help the poor. Help the needy. Do good.’

  Tears pooled in Raavan’s eyes.

  ‘Lead India back to greatness, make it truly Aryavarta once again. Make it a noble land once more. And then I will come and live in Lanka. Not as your Goddess. But as your devotee. My husband and I will worship you.’

  Raavan didn’t know what to say. He was surprised to see himself through Vedavati’s eyes. Was he really as capable as all that?

  ‘I have faith in you. You can do it. This long-suffering motherland of ours has enough villains already. It desperately needs a hero. Rise to become one.’

  Raavan sat quietly, listening.

  ‘You are a devout worshipper of Lord Rudra, aren’t you?’ asked Vedavati, her voice kind and gentle.

  Raavan looked up and nodded. Yes.

  ‘I am sure you know what the Lord’s name means. Rudra is the “One who roars”. The One who roars to protect good people. And what do you think Raavan means? What have you been told it means?’

  Raavan didn’t say anything.

  ‘What did your father tell you? What does it mean?’

  ‘He told me it means “One who scares people”. Raavan is one who puts fear into people.’

  ‘Your father was only half right. The root of the word “Raavan” is “Ru”. So Raavan would be “the One who roars to frighten people”.’

  ‘Are you saying that the root of my name and that of Lord Rudra’s is the same?’

  ‘It is. But the question is, what will you roar for, Raavan? Will you roar to frighten people? Or will you, like Lord Rudra, roar to shield those who need protection?’

  Vedavati’s words sent a flood of positive energy and inspiration coursing through Raavan. More than ever, he felt connected to the Mahadev, the God of Gods.